everybody here, get it out of control

i'm a very stubborn person and if i get an idea in my mind, i am quite persistent about it. sort of how i have to finish something i start, even if it is to my detriment. ill keep trucking forward, with that idea in my mind, unless someone knocks me over the head and tells me that it aint gonna work. even then, i might not listen. i have to know in my heart that it won't work.

my mom told me that she can't be happy because i always seem sad. my brother told me that i need to do what will make me happy. and sure, happiness is nice. but i'm not totally hedonistic. and i'm not afraid to hurt or be upset or be afraid or sad. it's gonna happen. i richly feel every emotion that comes my way and i won't stop something because it might hurt. the only real criteria i have for deciding whether something is worthwhile is whether or not i will grow from the experience and learn something.

and speaking of richly feeling, i have realized that love makes everything deeper, more intense. it makes sadness sadner and happiness so much happier. it makes the colors in the world more vivid. so if you're not into that deep stuff, maybe it's not for you...

get your backs off the wall