to my dearest volleyball,
fifteen years have passed since the fateful day that we met on the tar court of my elementary school and i have to admit, i fell in love with you from the first moment. we got acquainted slowly and we had a good connection, but i didn't think much of it. i was young and i was still looking around: i hung out for a couple of years in junior high school with your enemy tennis. but when i went into high school, i had to choose. when i thought of it, it really came down to love: it was you -- it had always been you. so i dedicated my mind, body, and soul to you, learning and growing alongside you on those gymnasium floors that burned and scarred me. i endured it all with my loyalty and passion in tact.
when i had to take a break, you understood and let me go as i suffered with those AP classes. i wish i hadn't: i was lonely and unhappy without you. my one biggest regret in life to this day was not staying with you my junior and senior year of high school -- i always wonder, had i stayed with you, would we have gotten more serious, could we have made a life together?
as it happened, we came back into each others' lives a couple of years later, when i began college. it was really casual; i wasn't ready to commit to much. i had been away from you for so long, i didn't know what to expect. we were on again, off again and as life happened, we lost touch with each other.
it wasn't until a phase of my life that i like to call my "hedonistic days" that we reunited. oooh! it was so intense and fulfilling and you really made my days more complete! i even introduced you to many of my friends -- i thought, "this might be it."
i don't know why life happens the way it does in terms of timing and misaligned chances but things started to get real bad real quickly. i don't know what i had done to you, but you hurt me. and not just once -- twice! i had never known such pain before: there were times i would lie in bed unable to move, unable to live. i tried to get help but as everything came up short, i soon realized i had to just let time do its healing.
it's been months now since we've last been in touch. i'm sorry that it's been so long. i needed the time and space to clear my mind. here goes.
you were my first and only love. i gave you everything i had. but there are several reasons why i must move on: 1)the pain you caused me still haunts me, 2) i can't trust you, 3) we've grown apart, 3)i'm not growing in our relationship anymore, 4)i get effort migraines when i'm near you, and 5)i'm not happy.
i cherish every moment we've shared -- i would take nothing back. but here is where it ends, volleyball.