Thursday, July 28, 2005

congratulations, pilipino. welcome to the real world.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

rapids of the kern river.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

westside, we're gonna set this party off right

loneliness. surrounds me like a vapor threatening to cut off my life. when it approaches, i run for shelter, any kind that will shield me from the terror of feeling lonely. but i don't know where this fear came from and i don't know what to do about it. jump in and roll around?

and self-assuredness/self-confidence always toys with me, sitting blatantly across from me or looking over my shoulder but never does it reside within me.

i'm gonna sign off now. maybe i'll catch you around

Thursday, July 14, 2005

only we know what is talked about

i remember once hearing my brothers talk about the difference between asserting who you are and putting other people down to make yourself feel better. as i watch the kids at my internship interact along with my own interactions with people, i can't help but understand the difference now.

yes, you have your own taste in things such as clothes and music. and i have my own preferences. but putting me down for what i wear or what i listen to is trite if you are only doing it because my taste is different from you and threatening your own self-worth. just because it is different doesn't make it wrong, so don't make me or other people feel like we are freakish, when it is you (not you, literally) who is insecure with yourself. and even if you don't think it's wrong, marking it as different from you creates a rift between the two of us. and it makes it seem as though you are trying to differentiate yourself into a cooler level. so do us all a favor and stop putting other people down to make yourself feel better. it's not going to help you get over your insecurities.

may we all have the clarity of mind to recognize how to be true to ourselves

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

"Clare, I want to tell you, again, I love you. Our love has been the thread throught the labyrinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. Tonight, I feel that my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you.
"...for me: for me you have been everything." - Audrey Niffenegger

I finally finished the book, after trying to put if off as long as possible for I did not want the story to be "over." I finally finished it and I feel so empty. Void. This book will stay with me for a long while; I can feel it swelling in my memory, suspending my views on time and love and life.

"now from his breast into his eyes the ache/ of longing mounted, and he wept at last,/ his dear wife, clear and faithful, in his arms,/ longed for as the sunwarmed earth is longed for by a swimmer/ spent in rough water where his ship went down/ under Poseidon's blows, gale winds and tons of sea." - Homer

Monday, July 04, 2005

i like that

hope y'all had a fun 4th of july.

one day, i'm hoping the 4th will be fun again. until then, ill just wait for driving safely through war zones with my brother and his girlfriend and sharing a bite at albertacos. it was fun. our new tradition.

tomorrow, a new day... a new experience awaits.

if everybody had an ocean across the usa, then everybody'd be surfin like californ-I-A

Sunday, July 03, 2005

ann's beachhouse, the green one, whose left side is in shade by a palm tree...lets go there for the 4th!