it's hard but i gotta do it

today, i felt tired. and set-back upon set-back upon set-back hit me. and i was too tired to deal with any of them.

but now, as the day has slowed down, i feel sad, drowning in an insatiable discontent. the saddest songs don't have enough sadness.

so i will try to wash off tiredness and feed my hunger. maybe that will help.

and it's killing me

the way you look at me i'm feeling you

"If you have been struggling with an emotional conflict, it may be time to let it go. Of course, this may not be so easy to do, since your emotions run very deep. Don't look for the fast fix. Sometimes the real magic in a relationship stems from those differences that won't go away. Recognizing this dichotomy and respecting each other's beliefs sets the stage for creating common ground instead of fighting over that which cannot be solved."

i just can't help but try to keep it cool

"Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple."
- Barry Switzer

you know i love you

crazy times in oakland.

i realized that those closest to me from work are like the siblings i always wanted. rafa is like my oldest brother but nearby. hong is like my older brother, but there is emotional/mental comfort. sareth is like an older sister who listens to me and helps advise me when i feel lose. emily is like a younger sister with whom i can relate almost everything!

i love them.

i loved you all along

i don't need nothing else

okay, so i'm in oakland visiting my brother who has my birthday book. as i'm waiting for some friends, here are some interesting points that i found true.

* "pisces-aries people rarely see anything wrong with their actions and generally refuse to change their attitude or lifestyle for anyone."

* "every cusp personality compromises conflicting elements...because the p-a personality combines the watery...traits of sensitivity and deep emotions with the fiery...traits of action and willfulness, people born on this cusp may prove puzzling to those unable to understand their curious admixture of passive and active characteristics."

* "those who do get to know 'piscarians' better learn NOT to look for deeper rearsons or ulterior motives behind their actions. those born on this primal cusp resent being analyzed,feeling either rightly or wrongly that what they so openly present to the world is exactly what they really are--no more, no less...their success in life will be directly proportional to their ability to remain objective about what they do and who they are."

* "your emotions can be destructive. keep calmand in touch with your center. direct your energies toward realistic goals. observe yourself living."

* "strengths: logical, sensitive, versatile. weaknesses: unrealistic. unsure."

* "'we create nothing, express nothing; we only discover or uncover what is already there.'"

all i need is you

"when every corner speaks of possibility, i know that i am home."
- anthropologie catalog

cuz everytime i see your face

how do we get where we are? i'm often amazed at how the experiences we go through shape us so formidably, affecting our reactions, our thoughts, and our feelings. as much as i hate to believe, i have been powerless to the forces brought on by people i've met, situations i've been in, and ideas that i have come across. and for most of my life, i have had an external locus of control, feeling that i have little impact on my own situation in life. but as i grow up and accept who i am and what i am capable of, i begin to see that i do have some say in what happens to me and where i go. or maybe now, i finally know what i want and where i want to be.

i want to be the kind of person that enjoys my life.

my heart does begin to race everytime

You thought that I'd be sad without ya

What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.
- John Ruskin

I laugh harder