i don't know what happens, but sometimes, a wave of heaviness washes down on me without a reason and without an identifiable cause. i can't breathe and i start to weep. it is so powerful that i lose track of everything else in my life. i can discern that it is depression and luckily, it doesn't last for too long. but the lasts few times it's happened, it comes around the time of something bad happening to people i know or a catastrophe for people around the world.

metta for always. metta forever.

ps: happy birthday, violin.