okay. here goes. putting aside all the crack and puff. words that spew directly and honestly.

i complain a lot. i am quite pessimistic. when i get emotional, i cant see any logic. im a sheltered person, who is tapping on her egg shell. i like to write and have been for quite some time.

someone once told me, recently, that i should be an actress; i dont know why. i try to get to know someone when i first meet them, unless there are language barriers or situational factors against me. i ask a lot of favorite-type questions; maybe i wonder what they are passionate about, the way i used to get when someone asked me who my favorite band was and i used to animatedly describe save ferris. i like to feel wanted; i always used to butt into my brothers' lives, desperately trying to mean something. deep conversations make most of my relationships, but i miss action and initiative; i wouldnt mind spicing it up every so often. i am human and flawed, with my hypocrisy and tendency to bottle up feelings, but i am also the most me kind of person you will ever meet. dont be surprised if you find yourself acting a bit more nice around me than normal; it happens to the best of them. i just started trying new things, like different menu choices at old restaurants. i think im a cat person, unless you are boris, the best dog in the world. politics puzzle me and i am still surprised when i think of how corrupt it all is. music is probably the best and most loyal friend ive had my entire life, but that doesnt mean that it has been completely beneficial. when people try to convert me, inadvertently showing me that they believe their religion is better, i feel weird and become unable to become good friends with them. sometimes, i spend a significant amount of time online, wondering what else i could have done with my time. time makes me nervous, especially when i feel like vacation time is almost over, even 8 weeks ahead of the end. i need fundamentals to be the same in order to get along with someone. i dont think i could ever date unless i had more confidence or if guys werent so good at disappearing. i dont feel natural in front of a camera but fall into some preconceived role of how i should be or look. every time i walk into a craft store, i want to make everything but dont because i dont know how and dont really want to put aside the time and effort to learn it. i get really happy when lizp and i have conversations online because they are in straight up spanish.

i am cynical and bitter. i yell only at kids who make me angry or perhaps only at people who arent listening. i wash between my toes every time i shower and dislike not washing my hair everyday. earlier tonight, my belly was the size of winnie the pooh's; i was quite disappointed in myself and my cookie conduct.

mis rosas para mi