can you keep up?

today is christmas. and i was so afraid of it. because i thought that i would spend it alone because things have changed. i thought that everything associated with xmas would break my heart. and it did for a while. until i opened up and just let it do what it usually does to me: fill me with mirth and peace. i walked with the spirit when i shopped for my loved ones. i sat with open arms when we opened up presents. and i basked in the love that i was surrounded with...

i know sometimes we have rules in our mind. and we try to stick to them. we try to build these walls that show that we're doing the right thing in logical terms. but rules arent always the right way to go. well, at least for me now. i could have listened to my mind and the ways in which it wants me to behave. but if i did, i wouldnt really be uyen. because i operate through my heart and all that is illogical, the beautiful chaos and mess that it is. but within that disaster, i find strength to live and when i follow my heart, i am at the most peace.

so i didnt stay away. we exchanged presents. and i know that the chase may be gone. but doesnt the comfort, the home-feeling come when you dont have to figure out where you stand with someone? [btw, im not attacking, z] ah, who knows? but if things fall apart after all this, its all good. no regrets cause i followed my heart.

i wanna know what you're all about it.