im like a beggar

it seems like the end of an era is coming. something's going to have to change soon. and my psyche is preparing for it. it has already given me the first sign.

in other news, i want to be "athletic" again. it's been a good 6 years since ive thought of myself in that capacity. but i think it's highly probable. and ive already started. being active just gives me less time to dwell on life and love and friendships and family and problems and self-improvement. so instead of thinking so much, im just going to swim or walk or take up a martial art. im tired of being physically and mentially weak. i must take back my strength.

lesson learned: don't give up what you love to make more time for things you dislike. you need balance and a good dose of what you enjoy.

when i look in your eyes, i can feel the butterflies