Beside My Pillow
Uyen Nguyen
3 April 2002

As I lay here beside my pillow,
The walls converge into one endless white mass,
The air swirls violently around me,
Unable to penetrate passed my two feet barrier.
I can only think of you
And what we used to have.
I’ve been lying to myself for the last two months,
Telling myself that our relationship was merely
Changing
And that nothing was wrong.
I would hear your voice
Serenading me with your stories and anecdotes.
I could feel the grasp of your soul on mine,
Holding on to our special bond.
But all the while,
You were out-of-reach,
Out of control,
And out
Of my life.
All the while,
I was still holding on to you
And everything you meant to me.
I was so adamant about us
That everyone else was pushed
Two feet away, held at a distance
By the memories we shared.
The two of us—
Yes, the 2 of us.
I can still feel the connection.
I can still feel the love.
I can still see your heart.
But now all I have
Is a pain-full memory
Of a friendship
Time took away from me,
From the two of us.
As I lay here beside my pillow,
The walls converge into one endless white mass,
The air swirls violently around me.
I can only think of you
And what the two of us used to have. *