I feel unworthy. Like I am not of value to anyone. Like everyone would be perfectly fine without me.

Why do I feel like this?

I am too affected by my environment? I care too much about what others think about me? I don't care enough about what I think about myself? I have hit some point in my life where I feel useless?

I don't know how important it is to discuss my worth with others. I wanted to. That's the first place I wanted to go. To others. To have them validate me as a person of value. I knew that if I went to someone, they could fill the uselessness with value. But I abstained. I figured that this time, I need to validate myself. Even though I haven't begun and I still feel like crap. I have no idea how to go about sustaining life from within, like a succulent plant that can replenish itself from within. How do you go about doing that?

I have to determine how I feel about what I "have." Do I settle or do I chase after what I want? Do I cherish what I have, even if it isn't what I want? Do I change my notions of what I want to fit the situation? Where is the median? Do I push until things break and I am left with nothing? Do I push or do I leave things alone? Do I force change or compromise what matters to me? There has to be some happy median.

I hope I find some sage advice from someone with experience. Especially in how to be strong. Within my body. Must narrow down and focus. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually.

Sigh. This is what living is all about. Even if it's the hardest thing to figure out.