i think i've just gotten out of the worst part of the storm and am finally moving again. thank goodness. i have much to sort out. but holing myself up was starting to take a toll on me.

it's sad how you live your life and randomly see someone and you're both in such different places that you hardly know each other anymore. it's mostly sad because you didn't expect things to change significantly; you thought the relationship could withstand time and space. but sometimes life is too much to weather. and our hearts forget who we used to be. and we have no choice but to move on. without a goodbye. without a hug.

for a time in my life, i felt a part of a community. it enriched me and gave me strength, giving my confidence a much needed boost. but it has since disbanded. and although it would be nice to believe that i just go back to being without a community, i am different because i have lost it and have to go on without it. not saying that i won't feel it again, but tearing a piece of paper and taping it back together isn't the same as the whole piece of paper.

i told my co-worker that happiness is a choice. as a reaction, a response, or a way of approaching our days. but it takes a grand effort to choose happiness instead of the better developed responses, such as stress, anger, fear, etc. but it doesn't mean we shouldn't try.