it's a long way home

i don't know why ive been freaking out so much over dumb gre's. im not planning on going to grad school now. i don't have applications due. i can take them again. it's just an insignificant test in my life. ::sigh:: but i still hyperventilated, i still paced myself to sleep, i still freaked out to everyone i talked to. is it because im a perfectionist? even though i have no expectations of how i'm going to do? is it because i don't feel prepared? is it because i'm inimidated by ets?

it's about time i feel the strength i have inside. im sick of always thinking that i am incapable, when i know that i can do something, even if it's not 1000%.

i am off to reclaim myself in the face of an evil money-making company who has a monopoly over standardized tests in the states. you don't deserve my fear, ets!

remember to breathe