ive got it all but i feel so deprived

im back to finish what i started.

2004 notables

the passing of david chappell, my first professor at sua
he was such an enlightened person, understanding that there was more to life than getting caught up in all the small and meager stuff in life, like jealousy, power, and stress.

alicia keys' "if i aint got you"
this was THE song of the year for me. the first time i heard it on "the diary of alicia keys," i knew it was going to be a hit. and i loved it from the start. it embodied how i felt about him and made me feel so lucky.

the transition back to sua, with the c/o 2005 in tact
i knew the returning seniors would have to adapt back to sua life, but i never knew that it would affect our relationships. it was hard to talk about. and was hardly talked about. but i think things just fell into place. and somehow,we just moved forward.

tuesdays with m
we did it last year. and people noticed. and we kept hanging out, solidifying our friendship and helping us realize how much we have in common! she was there when i needed encouragement or a couple of ears or someone to cry with. and she was there through the laughter, the dancing, and the great movies.

the break
it was unexpected. out of the blue. it left me feeling lost. but ive realized a great deal, learned a lot about myself and relationships. its also been confusing, scary, worrisome, and blurry. i dont know whats going to happen. i figure first loves haunt you for the rest of your life.

alcohol
i had my first drink this year in april. since then ive had a few drinks, just for social reasons. but ive realized that i dont like the way alcohol tastes because it tastes like cough syrup.

mis-travel
i tried to visit z for spring break. but my weaksauce self freaked out when my flight was cancelled and just deciced to fly back home after travelling to chicago. needless to say, chicago has been added to my blacklist, along with sherman oaks. but i am determined to make it to providence one day!

road trip 2004
wonderful experience! i love the feeling of being on an open road. and im glad the trip did not wound my relationships. i loved zerninating.

confidence does not have to be arrogance
i finally witnessed someone who is confident and strong without being cocky and arrogant.

new slang
i incorporated some not-so-polite words into my vocabulary. and have an easier time letting others come out of my mouth. i guess i moved passed my self-induced regulation of words.

becoming myself
im letting go. of the perfection. of the seriousness (kinda). of the discomfort. i feel refreshed, relieved, and stronger. im realizing who i am and who ive always been but who i want to become. im learning what i need and trying to implement. im tired of being afraid to be myself.

goodbye 2004. thank you for everything.

thank god i found you