im here and now im ready

do you have many acquaintances and friends or a smaller close circle of friends?

i've been thinking a lot and one of the things that has crossed my mind is friendship. like john legend said, "friends may come and they may go" and that's how i know who is a true friend -- those who are around during and after storms. i also know that there are different kinds of friends, friends that you go to for different reasons and activities.

while looking at my high school yearbook, i could tell who i had affected, who touched me, who were my friends, and who remain my friends. but i wonder if there's anything left of my yearbook but a residue of company and comfort. i'm afraid to believe that maybe i was never these people's friends in the first place because they could not be themselves around me; they were not comfortable enough to consider themselves in the company of a friend.

who knows? i can't stop the thoughts so i figured i'd put them somewhere outside of my brain.

holding on tight