you make me feel like i am young again

one of my resolutions that failed miserably from 2002 was improving my posture. so since i have noticed that my bad posture has left a crease or wrinkle on my waist, i have decided to pick up and re-resolute it. that should help strengthen my lower back muscles and give me the appearance of being more confident.

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i wonder what my profile would be. And kept asking me questions about what kind of guys are ideal, what features i am attracted to, if they can be old or young, etc. i've never really thought of these things, probably because i havent been single and searching for a while. cuz when you're in relationships, what's the point of thinking of ideal traits? they're already "yours" and youve probably already fallen.

there is a certain power in vulnerability. i am strangely drawn to and aware of weakness and frailty. i find it uplifting to witness someone opening up about his/her pain. i better remember broken moments of darkness and fear. maybe i hope that i can do something to alleviate. perhaps the power of vulnerability lies in its adhesive abilities.

then i wonder, is it good that i hold on to this preference? doesn't it drag me down? keep me pained? shouldn't i be listening to happy music? watching funny movies? or am i [edit] sadomasochistic ?

i dont mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain