i'd like to think what i have is real

lots of random thoughts in my mind lately... lots of words that linger under my skin... i want to let go of them by forgetting. but forgetting doesn't ever help. you have to accept and move on. not just cover over with dirt or a rug.

friendships are interesting. like zerlina says, some you work at, some just happen. as ive said before, proximity is important to many of my relationships. but as i think of it, proximity is really important to the friendships that have just happened. if we're not close or together, i fall out and drift back. for the ones that i work at, it doesn't matter how far away we are. somehow, all the miles, the long distance phone calls, the emails, the time checks are worth it. then there are the friendships where neither one of us work at it but we both stay connected. somehow. like we were made of the same stuff and all we need is a passing thought or annual hangout, and we're good to go. like no time ever passed ever. ah, it's nice to who my close friends are, who my best friends are, who my kindred spirits are.

it's nice to have a better grasp of who i am.

something dark is washing over my soul