its time to show and tell

you know how last time i said, "because of the stuff i write about, i feel like im still a teenager"? well, after living for a couple of days, i noticed that i still feel like a teenager in most things that i do. someone i met in my writing class asked me how old i was and it took me a while to give an answer. i still felt at most 17. i guess i havent gone through much since getting to college. i mean, im still being fed, im still taking classes that i have to, i havent had to worry about finding an apartment or paying rent ever. so my college experience is keeping me from experiencing the stuff that some of my peers have gone through. eh...

so yesterday, for the first time in a realllly long time, i truly opened up and talked to my mother. although i spend so much time with her, i havent had a conversation with her in years. i guess as ive gotten older and gone through different experiences, i havent been able to communicate any of it to her. i just aint got that level of vietnamese. but yesterday, i just asker her stuff, as well as i could. and i listened to her. i dont usually. im usually in my own world, singing some song lyric as she tells me something. it was nice, real nice.

so im trying to compile a list of the best cruising songs so if you have a fave, email me!! im me!! something me! ive hit a rock in the road of bikes. =) so please help me recover if you can.

if you havent already noticed, im glad im no longer planning to be a writer. i cant really do it. and im not open enough to write good stuff. so luckily, it was only a phase. however, i do plan on doing it for myself, keep my journals and notebooks busy for a while longer.

i spent more time last night cleaning out my room. i went through all my pictures from jhs and hs and just threw away pictures of people who i no longer see and who no longer mean anything to me. then when i got up, i got rid of somet things on a wall. its starting to look cluttered, which is much better than SUPER cluttered.

maybe, ill go get another bachelor's degree after graduating. but if i do, i dont think im going to go to grad school any time soon. i just cant stand studying that much!

cuz i want it all or nothing at all