you are beautiful but you dont mean a thing to me

the fears of the future haunt me in my daily steps and evening dreams. i cant see what i can be so i cant plan where to go. i am hopeless and helpless, frozen by my own frustration. but if i do not move forward somehow, i will be broken when the time comes because i will be unprepared and unready for what lies ahead.

so im back at school, pretty much settled in but still trying to make my room homier. luckily, with the creation of curtains, this place looks pretty rad. and the help of zee and mitz and alli. but i still want posters, although i cannot find any that i really like. do you have any ideas? what suits me? im stressed because i have to think of possible senior thesis ideas in addition to figuring out what i am going to do post graduation. im not sad, but the stress is making me draw inward and kinda sulk. so im kinda wah now. really out of it. isolated even. oh well...

i have to find a job if i want to go to europe next summer. gadzooks! =I

carve your heart out yourself