My hidden obsession

Lilly knows about this obsession I have. No one else though. I'm not sure why I do it. I'd never tell anyone else. They'd think I was nuts. Maybe Lilly already does. But I still like to do it. What is it? I like to look at bridal magazines. I like to look for "my dress." Most of them are filled with advertisements anyway. But maybe this is my conscious way of being closer to the day I will get married. Even if I'm not sure if I will. It's nice to imagine...