i have these holes that keep me from being comfortable in my own skin. i crave emotional connection because i was deprived that as a child. so sometimes i push too hard to get it. ask my brothers. i do not believe in my own talents and abilities. this could be due to an inferiority complex, which explains so much. i could be depressed. i seem to have the attribution style of depression. that's all.

however, endorphins are nice. and maybe if i get involved, i will spend less time reflecting on myself. ew, i have obviously done that one before. mmm...