a useless defense against destiny

i cannot stop the gradual passage of time. nor can i eliminate an aging body. that destiny is out of my control.

but what power do i have over my choices and what paths i take in life? can all my random thoughts be a part of some written story of my life? and what is the point of having such stories if they are unpublished for whom the story is written about? i am refusing to believe that i have no say in what happens to me and what i do. i refuse. because if i just let things happen to me and ride the tides of fate, i wouldnt end up exactly where i would end up had i made conscious decisions.

as my advisor told me, the onset of new ideas breeds doubt, which is the opposite of faith. why do you think the church censured information and knowledge to be in accordance with its arbitrary rules? why do you think anyone withholds information from others?

never before have i been the kind of person who would not do what was expected of me. but things change. even if its something as small as a take-home exam that is due in two days. but i can tell you that it is helping me figure out what is important to me and what i like. maybe that should mean happiness.

from now until forever