all i want to do is be more like me and be less like you

i continue to be slapped with shame. ah, how unproductive it is. it only makes me feel worse about myself. it only drives me towards resentment. its not making me want to change. its not going to make me apologize.

so why am i so selfish? why cant i just follow the rules? why cant i follow my rules? im just tired of the same crap. why do i have to be the one to bear the butt of all this? what do my parents expect from me? why do i have to feel like the one who causes the "sickness" to get worse? why do i have to be the one who is home?

"Walk along with me. The best in life, is yet to be." - Robert Browning