Status Report for 1 August:

I've been perplexed by a decision that I have to make all day: dating or friend status?

Hmm...initially my concern was that dating would do nothing to alleviate the problem that led to the break. One can become so content with having things exactly the way they want (all a relationship gives minus a title that leads to obligations) that one would not even think about changing or growth. Also, I was concerned about how I'd feel if I were to find out that he was also dating someone else.

Then, my friend Edward told me about arbitrariness. And how if the decision is so close that it's hard to make, either way should be okay.

Then my friend Zerlina reminded me that it depends on the definition of dating. And she also helped me to think about what reasons he would have for wanting to date.

So I thought about, considering also what I feel and I want at the same time as weighing what he wants.

Then I talked to Lilly and she was like "informality." And I was like...yah, being just friends forces things to change and perhaps could ultimately change feelings towards the other. Lilly said, "Minutely." And I had to think about it and I added...and being just friends is hard when you have feelings for each other. Then it all made sense. That that was the direction I was headed in. The dating part...

But luckily my friend Jenny reminded me again that I should make sure that the definitions match. So we can be on the same page. So here I am!

Gooey goodness!

I felt good after I realized that stuff out with Lilly. Wow. Haven't felt so much clarity since last Friday with Jenny, right before everything started falling apart on me. Sigh.