you rip my heart right out

my dad is the kind of father that most of my friends have. he's hardly been present in my life and when he has been, he's one of three states: angry, funny, or distant.

when he comes home from work, he takes a 5 minute shower, including dressing and drying off. then he eats dinner. if he hasn't already cleaned up his incredibly messy and full truck and garage, he will work on that until way passed his bedtime. his body is growing weak and he cannot work as hard as he used to; he's finally seeing the signs and listening to his body: "dont work that hard." when he lays in bed, he watches tv and falls asleep. usually, he is asleep by 9pm and wakes up around 5. when my mom doesnt sleep with him, he'll wake up at 4 and will not be able to fall asleep, unless my mom comes and sleeps with him. sometimes, when my parents do sleep in the same room, he will wake up and make noise and my mom will make him go back to sleep; he does. i think he sleeps better when my mom is there with him.

when he is at home, he is usually buried in newspapers. he loves to read in general and always seems up to date with the news. he gets so caught up in his reading, that he is unavailable, unable to be reached. otherwise, he is fixing something around the house.

recently, my dad has been going out with my mom. i think its cute. and they will take after dinner walks, and i will see my mom holding my dads hand or linking arms with him. aww, he's her physical rock.

when my father smiles, he looks the best, even if he has a bad smile. it gives him charm. im like that too, maybe minus the charm.

my dad works really hard. mostly to provide for his family, even my 25 year old brother. he is selfless. he thinks that people who do not have kids are selfish. perhaps this is true. he also holds grudges easily. he doesnt really have friends anymore, except his work buddies. up until a few years ago, he used to talk to a childhood friend. but they got into an argument and my dad will not talk to him anymore. somehow, he's okay with that.

he's proud. judgmental. silly. comical. annoying. loud. narrow-minded. faithful. hard-working. persevering. he's my dad. what can i say?