Sunday, June 09, 2002

Status:Update

I talked it out. I asked for what I wanted, what I needed. I emphasized its importance to me. And it is possible. UG said that he would give my requests a conscious effort. To speak to my mother in Vietnamese and to greet her. I am glad that Li had faith in him. I was less sure because of a nagging low self-worth measurement and a taste for pessimism and cynicism. Quite interesting.

My father is attempting to create a different type of relationship with me. And I have been resistant. Most of the time, he has been yelling at me and picking on me. But he vows that his reason for doing so is because he has no one he can yell at. Interesting. But he attempted to make amends with me today after I refused to eat dinner with him: he gestured for a handshake twice. I must stay open to his attempts at being more than the father he has always been to me: absent.

And I am no longer grounded, which is relieving. It felt quite restraining to be grounded. However, I still have issues about my parents trying to protect me from danger after hours.