I would do anything for UG. And he would do anything for his one friend. He wants to take care of him and do things for him. Isn't it funny how we do not match? It's not a big deal. I just wonder what that means? I wonder if that difference would lead me astray.

Let's face it. I still feel for UG, more so than ever before. Enhanced by building his bed with him. Enhanced by sharing music together during a soft and memorable night. My feelings continue. But should they? Why do I doubt that it is a good thing? I have been reinforced to fear something so I have doubt. Even though, I am well floating in non-title world, what if he doesn't think that? What if he is merely happy that we have nothing serious even though it's serious?

He said we should go somewhere. I reminded him tonight. He said, "I don't know how to be in those situations. I can't treat you like a friend but I can't treat you like a girlfriend."

I get sad sometimes. And I do not know why. I am hungry. I am wearing his pj's. The ones he let me borrow. I know he loves me and that I love him. But love is not enough. I long for days of warmth, connection, and mutualism. I wonder if he needs me. I wonder if I need him.

So long for dreams might lessen the strain existing in my mind now.