I looked over my archives last night while sad and they made me sooo sad. I realized that I do express a lot here. Amazing. Probably one of the things that kept me sane during the hard times.

Have you ever been envious of the friendship that someone you knew had with someone else? You desperately longed to connect with someone on that level, to be able to make that person happy, to be able to help that person have fun. But you couldn't do it. And it tore you up inside because a person you thought of dearly would never see you in the same light?

Maybe sailing up to the clouds would be nice.

Yes, I understand that a lot of things I write about here are abstract but not as abstract as the other one. Eek. That is the truth.

I am surviving off of three hours of sleep and an hour's worth of naps. I have another night to go and then I will crash until my system is restored and fixed. Yes! Then it is off to the wonder-full world of finals!

Do you ever have conversations with people where you feel like less of a person afterwards? Somehow they managed to make everything you said sound stupid? That everything you said was cast aside? It makes you feel ugly inside, doesn't it? Then you get sad...stray from your focus and get lost in a whirlwind of pointy pain. Bah...