Status Report for 3 August:

Not very much sleep. Had an early morning wake up call at 3 in the morning. Hmm...talked things out with UG. And it helped. A lot. I don't remember exactly what we talked about, but I was left with a sense of peace.

Ran around all day looking for the perfect size dress. AGH!!!

In the process, I had this clear feeling of happiness. While eating my favorite pasta at Souplantation, the ever delightful Pasta Florentine with Carmelized Onions, I felt pure happiness and could pinpoint it. Usually, happy is not a description I ever use to explain my emotional state. Perhaps, happiness awaits me in the future.

Had tension problems with my mother because she saw my puffy eyes this morning. She was upset. Mad cause it seems like I'm chasing after pain. She doesn't want me to hurt. And she thinks it's his fault that I cry. So does he. But I don't. I believe that I decide to cry. But no one really seems to understand that, at least those that see it.

And while driving and hearing my mom talk about how I should stop chasing after sadness, I realized that all my life, love and romantic relationships have meant so much to me. Somehow, I've spent my life searching for love.. Something that I've wanted all my life. But something that I haven't quite found yet. I just don't know how my mom could understand that, especially since it involves my pain and sadness.

Tranquilizing bed time. Even if I couldn't sleep much.

So we're single. But we have faith in us.

And I'm not alone.