can't believe that this is all in a dream

ahhhh! ahhh! ahhhhhhh! AHHHHH!!!

the bff is back in the states!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

[dances]

i'm gonna wait to be with you

never knew i could feel like this

i am a people-person. i want and need to be around other people. but the problem that arises with surrounding myself with people is that i'm often empty when no one is around. that is a problem. what is it that i get from being around other people? why do i need it? could i be just as happy doing some activity alone? could i entertain myself with books? with movies? with videogames? with treadmills? some of those things could do it for me for a bit. but i'd need to be back with people. i suppose that is okay. i just need to divide up my time a little better.

should i start with a portable gaming device? let's see if it's meant to be...

like i've never seen the sky before

dance, dance

today i took to making threats but it's not that fun.

i'm also a super-liar. doh! i guess the lack of grammar classes has reared it's ugly head.

someone please assign me a future career, though i did take a step today towards exploration.

moreover, the older i get, the harder it is to talk to my parents. but i guess that's normal? stupid language barriers!

we're falling apart to half-time

some people don't like it

there's so much to say but so much i've already forgotten about the past 2 weeks or so. and the heat here in socal is not helping with the memory.

truth is i wasn't looking forward to going to sua's graduation. i didn't know what to expect and the thought of seeing evvveryone was overwhelming and frightening. and somewhere i had moved on and didn't know if i wanted to go "back." however, jess eased me in with our talk before she came in and i was amazed at the love and heart of jess and ryo for coming and teaching my students salsa dancing. when they left, i had this overwhelming feeling like i expected, but it was an entirely different emotion: it was like my heart swelled knowing that i had such amazing friends who after a year still loved me enough to come straight from the airport or who risked getting lost multiple times to help me out. and hearing from ellie and how excited she was to see me and everyone made me excited too!

so when i saw everyone out at the maitai bar including the kidnapped physics professor, the fun-loving mormon, the american turned japanese JA girl, the non-profit job seeker for the homeless, the lb native, the swiss laguna beach teacher, the jamaican farmboy, the turkey lover of beer, the pilipino, the hard-working vicente, the oc boy who lives 15 minutes away but whose face i haven't seen since graduation, the engaged spokanian, and the soon-to-start grad school for education portlandian, i was happy.

and so it took me a year to realize that what i had and have with my sua family is true and real. and that space and time do not corrode at our bonds. if anything, they strengthen them. and they make me kiss people on the cheek. soka love.

then on the 25th, armed with flower and candy leis, i went to theboy's graduation from csulb. it was strange being in the opposite position from the year before but familiar and quaint. i was proud as can be and happy to be there to share in the celebration. with all that we've been through in the past 4.75 years, it was very fitting to share that experience together. i'm grateful and humbled to have been a part of the journey.

the 27th, i had a beach day with hs friends and friends from work. it was fun but i got burnt and theboy and i had to leave early to go to the last game of the mighty ducks playoff season thanks to hijo. and it was a load of fun! the fans were crazy and cheering every 10 seconds! i think i'd like to be a hockey fan. right after that game, we raced over to watch xmen3. what a day!

and this past week, ive been practicing and playing flag football with the students. and it is so fun! i haven't played since 6th grade. and i happen to be quite the defensive player. =)

friday, i went to dinner with theboy along with everyone involved in his student teaching experience. although everyone got caught up talking to each other about work and people, i was grateful to be present.

so, i love my friends, i love theboy, i love my family.

ps: i hope your trip up to sc is a nice one, em. see you real soon. [real hug]

cuz you hang out in the streets