i am starting to feel dissatisfaction in my soul again. it is characterized by moments of sadness that come without any clear catalyst. i cannot blame the changing of seasons because it is still warm in southern california (at least for the next day). i will not attribute it to my ankle, which rolled again last night. i am saddened by the news of "pushing daisies" but that is not it either.

no, it is something else. i hope that when i take action, life will fall into place once more.

i am so happy and so grateful to be taking care of myself.

[inspired by a conversation with gypsygrig]

the worst feelings...

feeling alone while surrounded by people

fingernails on chalkboards

not following your heart

disappointing someone you care about

leaving someone who you feel happy spending time with

the best feelings...

waking up next to someone you love

someone who you can be yourself around

being active

real hugs

feeling someone else's feelings for you

i haven't had much to say lately, hence the lack of posts. let's see what i can drag up.

thien is home. it's the first time i've lived with him since 1996, before he left for college. it is quite interesting, though easy. with the five year cushion that we have, we get along, we enjoy each other's company. so we've been running errands together, studying at the library, sharing meals at home and out at restaurants; we even spend a little time together before going to bed either reading or being. it's fulfilling to have a brother in the house.

today, i downloaded my master of social work application for CalState Long Beach. i am trying to prepare all the information for my references before i settle down to write that personal statement, which will be one arduous effort. let's see how much i want to be in social work!

doni was up in orange county for the past 4 days. we had the chance to shop till dropped on saturday; she was getting her halloween costume ready and apparently learning how to be a girl in 24 hours. and then we ate at curry house with my parents that night. that was some good menchi katsu. mmm. also, i went to dinner with her and some former high school friends. it was nice catching up with everyone, though "heroes" was throwing everyone off!

speaking of television, in addition to "ugly betty," i am now also hooked on "chuck" and "pushing daisies." they are all part comedy/part something else. it makes for feel-good programming, which i am a big fan of these days! even though i am only part-time right now at work, i do not like going out too much. i like curling up at home on my down time.

the single thing is working out for me quite well right now. it's not so much that i hate guys (in fact i am trying to stop myself from saying my infamous tagline). i am merely trying to take care of myself and keep myself healthy. and if i had someone else who i was attached to right now beside my family, i would not be sleeping enough or eating right. thus, this time is truly for me.

i have also been trying to finish reading the books that i start. i have been doing well. i have finished more books this year than in the previous two years combined. i hope it teaches me something about commitment and follow-through.

tata for now!

i'm not telling you who or what to vote for. that's up to you. but the point is FOR you to vote. if you can.

thanks, jess, for the link!