i think i've just gotten out of the worst part of the storm and am finally moving again. thank goodness. i have much to sort out. but holing myself up was starting to take a toll on me.

it's sad how you live your life and randomly see someone and you're both in such different places that you hardly know each other anymore. it's mostly sad because you didn't expect things to change significantly; you thought the relationship could withstand time and space. but sometimes life is too much to weather. and our hearts forget who we used to be. and we have no choice but to move on. without a goodbye. without a hug.

for a time in my life, i felt a part of a community. it enriched me and gave me strength, giving my confidence a much needed boost. but it has since disbanded. and although it would be nice to believe that i just go back to being without a community, i am different because i have lost it and have to go on without it. not saying that i won't feel it again, but tearing a piece of paper and taping it back together isn't the same as the whole piece of paper.

i told my co-worker that happiness is a choice. as a reaction, a response, or a way of approaching our days. but it takes a grand effort to choose happiness instead of the better developed responses, such as stress, anger, fear, etc. but it doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."
- Kahlil Gibran

"Although the world is full of suffering, it also full of overcoming it."
- Helen Keller

"I have learned that whenever the question is 'What is important?'; the answer is always 'Love.'
...
Life is filled with tough stuff. Death, illness and other causes of human suffering are all part of life. Although extremely difficult, these are the situations that produce the deepest and most profound growth. For some reason, we are more open to learning when we are hurting. We are softer--we are able to admit that we don't know everything."
- Kimberly Kirberger

2008 in pictures: october - december.

102408 - girls inc. annual event.


113008 - time with doni.


122508 - xmas sunset in waikiki.

2008 in pictures: july - september.

070508 - las vegas with the parentals.


071308 - orange county tour. courtesy of zerlina.


072308 - keiko's tour of socal.


072508 - mle!


072808 - siblings reunited.


080208 - underwear affair.


081608 - monsters of hip hop with zerlina.


091208 - oakland with thien.

2008 in photos: april - june.

041208 - thornton winery with lisa.


041308 - flower fields of calabasas.


051908 - tahoe.


052308 - class of 2008 graduation.


061208 - oakland with mama and thien.

2008 in photos: january - march

010708 - bowers with lisa.


011908 - harvelle's for rebelution with lisa and mitzi.


021408 - chaya. coutesy of lisak.


022708 - fun times with mitsuko.


031408 - mai tai fun.


031508 - sol art and artists' village. courtesy of naco.


031608 - birthday love at cafe hiro. courtesy of lisak.


032008 - wine cellar.

2008 in review

personal events:
1. getting hired on at girls inc. (august)
2. injuring my ankle (april)
3. tattoo (september)
4. thien moving home (september)
5. trip to hawai'i (december)
6. camping in tahoe (may)
7. going to the ellen show (october)

movies:
1. "slumdog millionaire"
2. "prince caspian"
3. "definitely, maybe"
4. "dark knight"
5. "hancock"
6. "juno"
7. "bucket list"
8. "wall-e"
9. "indiana jones"

favorite songs:
1. "lucky (feat. colbie caillat)" by jason mraz
2. "i'm yours" by jason mraz (album version)
3. "the best you never had" by leona lewis
4. "2am" by slightly stoopid
5. "forever" by chris brown
6. "come over (feat. sean paul)" by estelle
7. "good life (feat. t-pain)" by kanye west
8. "love song" by sara bareilles
9. "one step at a time" by jordin sparks
10. "say it again" by marie digby
11. " a milli" by lil' wayne

concerts:
1. alicia keys - may
2. jack johnson - august
3. bloc party - july
4. bloc party - december
5. death cab for cutie - june
6. marie digby - july
7. rebelution - january

friends:
1. zerlina w
2. keiko t
3. mits t
4. rafa s
5. doni k
6. mle
7. lisa k
8. francyne n
9. mindy l
10. naco

activities i spent most of my time on:
1. driving
2. television
3. volleyball
4. sleep
5. remembering

trips:
1. hawai'i - december
2. temecula - april
3. oakland - september 11
4. san diego - march
5. las vegas - july
6. oakland - september
7. las vegas - september
8. oakland - january
9. san francisco/santa cruz/oakland - july
10. oakland - february
11. tahoe/oakland - may
12. oakland (with mom) -

shows:
1. "ugly betty"
2. "pushing daisies"
3. "samantha who"
4. "chuck"
5. "house"

books:
1. "the only 127 things you need"
2. "the secret"
3. "true love"
4. "norwegian wood"

lessons learned:
1. if i start a book, i need to finish it.
2. staying active = endorphins = happy.
3. closure comes when it wants to.
4. being present is being mindful.
5. be patient with healing.
6. shitty first drafts eventually bring something you like.
7. what you think is what manifests in your life.
8. perfectionism is a way to live life with minimal mess but messes can be good.
9. a facilitator helps you be an expert in your life by asking good questions.
10. the best gifts are the ones filled with aloha.
11. be honest -- there is less to remember.
12. you don't forget someone you love; you learn to live without them.
13. move in the direction of fear.
14. i'm tired of trying to be friends with people who aren't trying back.